just got this email and CANNOT wait until tomorrow morning... there is no way this will go smoothly and i'm sure people are already lining up outside geeFresh's door with questions on how to prepare for this monumental transition. and bacon's probably asking little b if she can help draw up a flowchart to send out with additional details.
From: geeFresh
To: All Minions in Hell
Subject: New BisCenter
All,
I am thrilled to announce that we had a new printer delivered last week and it is the newest model of the BizCentre series! You should note that it’s printing menu is remarkably similar to the old Bizcenter which is one reason for continuing with this printer make. As such, we will not perform a formalized training, but I am confident people will be able to follow the menu to print, scan and copy with ease. If you have difficulties over the next week or so please let me know and I can help.
Starting tomorrow morning you all should have the new BizCentre 4869X mapped and have it set as your default printer. It will be set to print on our company standard in double sided, black and white. I ask that you truly make this your new default printer. The new BuzCenter 6489X is not only ~30% faster than our old machine, but the cost per page printed is a fraction of the price of our old BisCenter. Please note that although the old Bizcenter is still on our network you should only print to it when (1) little b is printing a large client job and demands that you not print to our new BizCenter or else he will withhold your next pay check, or (2) the new Bizcentre is down for maintenance or repair (which in all honesty, should be never since it's Brand New!!!).
Please be mindful of the cost of printing on the Firm and the environment. More importantly, I would like to remind everyone to only print in color when needed. I realize this message is communicated frequently, but the communication is necessary, because no one reads my emails. You should know that color printing is just over 7x the cost of printing in black and white. Which, if you all remember, was the reason why your bonuses were cut in half last year. No more color printing = (maybe) more bonuses! Your efforts in this matter are important, and are greatly appreciated.
Best regards,
geeFresh
Duke of the Fiery Depths of Hell
ok seriously? first of all, is the new printer a BisCenter, Bizcenter, BizCentre, BizCenter 4869X, BuzCenter 6489X, or any of the other sixty names he called it? and i'm thinking it's a mistake to not hold a formalized training because i'm going to miss out on a lot of great commentary. oh the fall in productivity tomorrow morning is sure to get little b all riled up. it's going to be a great friday.
